ARE WE THERE YET?

What parent hasn’t heard those words out of the mouths of children when going on a long trip?

Thirty minutes feels like an hour . . . three hours like a lifetime. Are we there yet??  I remember how it annoyed my parents when I uttered those words again and again.  I remember how my sons annoyed me in the same way when they were young.

I’ve tried hard not to say those four little words to my Heavenly Father, but . . . oops . . . out of my mouth they sprang today. Are we there yet??

My long trip began November 2020, a day before Thanksgiving, but I wasn’t headed to my family to enjoy turkey and all the trimmings. I was in the hospital awaiting surgery.

THE PLAN: have surgery to remove my prothesis hip and scrape out all the infection that had grown like kudzu around the hip and down my leg; replace hip with a spacer; hospital stay of approximately three days; go home and wait for three months for wound to heal; back to hospital for new hip replacement; get on with my life.

I don’t make plans anymore.

It is now the middle of August 2021, and though, praise God, I’m at home now, I’m still flat on my back, hipless, with a stubborn wound that doesn’t want to heal. Bedridden. My only journey out of the house is by ambulance to the wound care doctor every other Monday. How I enjoy those few moments outside, looking up at the sky and trees all around me, feeling a wisp of a breeze or even the hot sun on my face!

I’m a tough old bird!  At least, that’s what my son Andrew told me.  (He meant it as a compliment.)

Just yesterday, I was told how strong I am . . . perseverance my middle name . . . and on and on . . . by a kind friend.

I FELT LIKE A FRAUD!

If only you knew how weak and insufficient I feel.

MY JOURNEY: I had a second surgery to take out the spacer and scrape out more bacteria. I was knocked in the head by person or persons unknown, leaving a contusion on my brain and the inability to communicate with anyone. I understood what was said to me, I just couldn’t talk. Thank God, I got over that in several days, although I was still very confused. My kidneys were failing, and I was on dialysis three days a week for months. Thank God, He healed my kidneys, and I no longer endure dialysis! In the middle of it all, I had a debilitating illness that I thought would do me in. Thank God, they finally found the cause…wrong medication. But the worst part of this entire journey was contracting an infection that brought on paranoia and frightening hallucinations. I still don’t like to think or talk about it. I haven’t even shared it all with my family. Suffice it to say, I woke up when they finally took the shackles off my wrists. They would call them restraints, but in my state, I thought they were handcuffs. I was fearful for a while but, thank God, He healed the infection and restored my sanity.

And during all this . . . Covid-19 . . . so I couldn’t have my husband or family with me. It was a nightmare!

I could say a lot more, but those are the highlights. (Deep breath!)

Please note all the thank God sentences above, in italics.

Despite everything, God was and still is with me. He has met a multitude of needs, comforted me, blessed me with many blessings, and kept His promise, “I will never leave you nor forsake you” (Hebrews 13:5).

In the end, it doesn’t matter how weak and insufficient I feel. Those are just feelings. The truth is His promise, “And He said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.’”

So maybe I’m not a fraud. It’s just that people look past the real Karen and see the grace, strength, and sufficiency of our Almighty Heavenly Father. To God be the glory for all He has done, all that He will do, and all that He is!

And, Lord, I will try to “zip it” with “Are we there yet?”

You know our ETA. I’m just along for the ride. And one day . . . HEAVEN!